It Won’t Work…

Did the title throw you off a little? Well, let me elaborate. Many years ago before I was saved, I had a sort of spiritual awakening for a lack of a better term. I knew about God but I didn’t like religion and so I called myself spiritual. Yes, spiritual, what does that even mean? Now it seems a bit silly when I think about it. I guess, what I was trying to say was that I didn’t like religion, I didn’t want to be labeled a Christian, I didn’t want to follow anyone’s specific rules or guidelines to get closer to God. More specifically, I knew what some Christian based churches taught, which was baptism, fasting, praying, reading the bible and being part of a community, most of those things I mentioned I wasn’t willing to do, nor compromise about it. I literally prayed to God and said, I won’t get baptized and I won’t be part of a community where I have to serve or talk to anyone ( immature me), of course that only seemed to pull me farther apart from my purpose. Forward to present time, I’ve been baptized twice (once in the actual Jordan river) and have found an amazing community of people in my church that have welcome me in a way that I can’t explain with words but know in my heart was God sent. In my ” spiritual awakening” I had a long list of the things I didn’t want to do to get closer to God or to have peace in my heart and life, I had to many limitations and restrictions for God, all those things were walls that I had built myself to protect myself from the what if’s in my head, what if God isn’t real, what if the people at church hurt me, or lie to me, what if I’m not worthy or what If I open up and become vulnerable and I get taken advantage in my weakness. With all those walls, all those restrictions, all those conditions, getting closer to God and finding my purpose in this world was never going to work. So, I got lost in many religions, reading books, finding temples, yoga, magic, buddhism, healing myself affirmations, books on how to help myself find peace and all sorts of other stuff that only worked temporarily and when it went away left me feeling even worse. Where am I going with this, you can read all the self help books, all the autobiographies, you can do all the yoga and breathing exercises you want, WITHOUT GOD, IT WONT WORK! By no means am I saying reading self help books are bad, what I am saying (because it happened to me) is that the only way to start truly healing is to let your walls down, ask God to show you the truth. If Jesus is the your foundation, if God isnt number one in your life, and If you still have many conditions, you will never be truly happy. This life doesn’t work without God. Think about it, is there an area of your life where you just can’t seem to have peace in? Is there a wall? A condition you’re putting God? I know you want peace, I know you want to feel loved, appreciated, valued, noticed, I know you want to succeed, be fruitful, be blessed to be a blessing, I know you want to find your purpose, but I’m afraid it just won’t work without God. In my personal journey to findings who in was, I found that I can never walk this life again without my creator. I encourage you to let those walls fall and to just let God guide you into His will, let us pray.

My most amazing creator, my loving Father in heaven, I come to you, scared of the unknown, afraid of what you might reveal to me, afraid of getting hurt, afraid that I am not worthy, afraid that I don’t have enough faith, overwhelmed by this place I’m in because no matter how much I try to control or manipulate those things around me it just doesn’t bring peace. I am lost, I am drowning in a sea of hopelessness and I know that I am stubborn and I ask for forgiveness, I can’t do this alone anymore, I know that anything in my life will not work if you’re not involved. So, I’m inviting you into my life, into my heart, that you may search me and find within me not only that unwillingness to give my life completely to you but anything else that is keeping me from fulfilling my true purpose in your will and cast it out so that I may be delivered into your wonderful freedom and love. I am yours, and I know that without you, it just won’t work. In Jesus name Amen.

#flowinhisgrace

Emotions…

The rage. Do you know it? I do. I don’t engage anymore with it, but how I used to linger and sulk in it. I remember as a teenager once my little brother said to me while I was having a fit and rage against my mom, that I reminded him of the hulk. I remember so clearly thinking, wow, that’s how much rage comes out of me. To tell you the truth that continued for many, many years, anything would set me off. I had no control, there was no balance of my emotions specially when it came to anger. Yes, of course I was a teenager and the raging hormones and all that but what about later in life? As a Adult I had to finally be honest with myself and find a solution, I tried mediation, reading books about peace, buddhism, angels, crystals, anything that had the word peace I was trying. Needless to say, all those things seemed to work for a while and then vanish like if they never existed in my life, back then I wasn’t saved and I didn’t know better, it wasn’t until I bended knee and called out for the creator of all things when He started showing me through His word and getting to know who Jesus was that I started to think that I might have a chance. There are three things you must know:
1. The only one who can help is God.
2. Surrendering will activate your faith.
3. Alignment with God’s will bring peace.

How do you start:
1. Make time for God, praying, meditating, worshipping.
2. Read the bible. His word. If you need an answer seek it in His word.
3. Repent and Give thanks to God in the worst and best times.

Lord, I boldly come to you now with a humble heart, please forgive me for anything that I have done to keep you from doing your will in my life. I am here now with an open heart and a willing Spirit. Lord create an emotional balance within me and let me flow in your serenity. When my anger starts to rise Lord I ask you to cover me in your compassion, Father I lift up every emotion to you, be my guide so that I may know how to react to others actions. I want to be slow to anger. Let everything I do and say be a reflection of what you are. In Jesus name Amen.

A Reminder…

We all need Holy reminders, for me it was one of those weeks where the Holy Spirit just continued to remind me of who I am in Christ. Sometimes were expecting a new verse or a new word from God but what we really need is a simple reminder of the things we already know but have forgotten in the midst of uncertainty. My reminder came in the form of a piece I had written before. To me a reminder but maybe for you a new word.

My most precious daughter, I see you and I am well pleased. You are the apple of my eye. My most valuable creation indeed. I have hidden treasures inside your being that will be brought to life in my presence. How I delight in the worship of your heart and the way you lift me with your praises. I have an invitation for you on this day that you may leave behind that which brings grief into the heart that I have given you. That you may step forth with me into the calling I prepared for you that others may follow your lead and be able to know me as well and that you may be transformed into royalty as I have meant for you to be my delegate in all things Holy. Let me dry those sorrowful tears that often fall into the palms of my hands and let me turn them into tears of joy and victory. Won’t you come near and hold my hand that I may never let you go and forever live in my grace. All that causes you pain is not in vain and know that it will always come and go but today if you hold me near you will never be alone. 

Now, go and testify.

John 1:12

But to all who did receive him, who believed in his name, he gave the right to become children of God.

Revelation 21:4

He will wipe away every tear from their eyes, and death shall be no more, neither shall there be mourning, nor crying, nor pain anymore, for the former things have passed away.

Esther 4:14

Perhaps this is the moment for which you were created.

Jeremiah 29:11

For I know the plans that I have for you declares the Lord, plans to prosper you and not to harm you. Plans to give you hope and a future.

Proverbs 3:5-6

Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways submit to him, and he will make your paths straight.

1 Peter 2:9

But you are a chosen people, a royal priesthood, a holy nation, God’s special possession, that you may declare the praises of him who called you out of darkness into his wonderful light.

1 Peter 3:15

But in your hearts revere to Christ as Lord. Always be prepared to give an answer to everyone who asks you to give reason for the hope that you have. But do this with gentleness and respect.

In His Time…

When the doctors told me that fibromyalgia was the culprit behind the pain I had in my body, I felt so confused about the promises God had for me and what I was going through as they were contradicting themselves. The pain would only get worse as time passed to the point where I used a cane and also got shots in my heels for pain which were as painful and would only last about a week. I could barely walk and I was at times in full depression. What didn’t help was that there was a person who was always reminding me of all the things I couldn’t do and wouldn’t be able to do, it was fraustrating but I kept reminding myself that God can snap his fingers and make me whole whenever it was His will. Deep down I knew He would one day, three years later here I am, no cane, no pain. It took a lot of faith and what kept me from feeling disappointed and discouraged and ultimately disabled was that I knew the God I served, I knew His promises and where to find them, I knew that He had plans for me. Even in the times where I found myself depressed and so lost I called on Jesus. I didn’t know why or when it would get better, all I knew was that God said it would, but before it did there were things I had to do. One, completely trust in God no matter what I was seeing, hearing or feeling. Two, I had to read his promises over and over. Three, I had to bless those who contradicted anything that God had already affirmed.
No matter what you’re going through, I am here to tell you that God is faithful and His will be done in His time and it’ll be worth it! Keep your eyes on Jesus and keep moving forward, when resistance comes it just means you’re closer to the miracle!

My Faithful Wonderful Father, thank you for always being there for me when I need you. Thank you for taking care of me and never letting go. Thank you in advance for the healing that you bring my heart and my body as well as my Soul and mind. Lord thank you for showing me patience and faith in you is worth more than anything on this earth. I give it all to you Lord, In Jesus name Amen.

From Where Does My Help Come From?…

Every time I feel alone and helpless the Holy Spirit reminds me that I am not. It’s been difficult at times with my health, it can get lonely sometimes and to be honest I tend to withdraw in moments when I feel like no one can possibly understand what I’m feeling physically. Today I had a great reminder, From where does my help come from? Does it come from any human being around me or does it come from myself? No matter how much pain I’m in the answer will always be the same, Truly my help comes from above. All I need to do is call out the name of the one who has already healed me, the one who has set me free, the one who comforts me in my time of need and the one I rejoice in when I’m afflicted because of Him. What a Beautiful name it is, the name of Jesus.

Jesus, Jesus, Jesus. I call on you, the name above all names, the one who does on the cross for my healing, my sins, my shortcomings. I call on the one who I know is my comfort and my defender. I need you, it’s simple, there’s nothing else that I can say that you don’t already know. Right now in this moment I just praise your name to the Heavens. Jesus, Jesus, Jesus. Thank you, King of Kings!

How long will you stay in the belly of the whale…?

Jonah 1:17
Now the Lord provided a huge fish to swallow Jonah, and Jonah was in the belly of the fish three days and three nights.

Jonah 2:1-9
From inside the fish Jonah prayed to the Lord his God. He said: “In my distress I called to the Lord, and he answered me. From deep in the realm of the dead I called for help, and you listened to my cry. You hurled me into the depths, into the very heart of the seas, and the currents swirled about me; all your waves and breakers swept over me. I said, ‘I have been banished from your sight; yet I will look again toward your holy temple.’ The engulfing waters threatened me, the deep surrounded me; seaweed was wrapped around my head. To the roots of the mountains I sank down; the earth beneath barred me in forever. But you, Lord my God, brought my life up from the pit. “When my life was ebbing away, I remembered you, Lord, and my prayer rose to you, to your holy temple. “Those who cling to worthless idols turn away from God’s love for them. But I, with shouts of grateful praise, will sacrifice to you. What I have vowed I will make good. I will say, ‘Salvation comes from the Lord.’ ”

Ephesians.3:20
Now to him who is able to do immeasurably more than all we ask or imagine, according to his power that is at work within us

James 4:10
Humble yourselves before the Lord, and he will lift you up.


I can’t even fathom sometimes how truly great God is and how willing and for us He continues to faithfully be towards us even in the times when we reject Him. I was thinking about how some of us use so much energy to run the opposite way of God, when it’s so much easier to just flow in His grace. Makes me wonder what Jonah was thinking or feeling that would make him so bitter towards God. I wonder if he prayed and didn’t like God’s respond, or if the responsibility of being a prophet was too much, or if he had a loss and couldn’t find the why, maybe he was just simply tired. One thing was clear though, He didn’t like that God showed mercy towards his enemies (makes me wonder if Jonah ever thought why them and not me). Whatever was going on his heart was definitely affecting his relationship with God, yet God went after him trying to show Jonah the forgiveness He brings to us even when we don’t deserve it. Three days and three nights Jonah was in the whales belly and I wonder if he was in the whale that long because it took him that long to make that bold prayer (even though it wasn’t ideal, leave that for another time). Surrending is never easy, I know I’ve surrendered even when I still felt like I was treated unfairly, like a bratty child with a parent. Nevertheless, like Jonah, I know the God who created me, created the seas and the dry land, a merciful, forgiving, a true Savior of my life, therefore, I knew that surrendering and humbling myself was the way to go. I want to ask you something. How long will you stay in the belly of the whale? How long will you sulk? How long will it take for you to surrender? How many times will God have to show you how much He loves you? Oh! Our God is ever so willing. Willing to say yes to whatever we ask in agreement with His will. I tell you, whatever that “thing” is that stands between you and God, bring it to the throne, lay it down, surrender it, bitterness, disappointment, sadness, loss, anger, jealousy, betrayal, hate, arrogance, pride, whatever it is, I urge you not to waste anymore time and let God start healing your heart from all that overtakes it and brings you to a place of uncertainty and bitterness. Don’t let pride rob you of what already belongs to you. God wants to show you His great mercy and grace, shower you with love and favor. Make that prayer, surrender.

Father God, I came boldly to surrender all that I’m feeling and it isn’t all good and positive but I know that you are the only one that can change a heart. I don’t want to run from you anymore, I don’t want to have bitterness in my heart, I surrender my ego, my pride, my all to you who knows me like no one else and who loves me unconditionally, you who forgives without condemnation. I accept your word, your love, your forgiveness, your grace. Thank you for showing me mercy and most of all for allowing me to surrender over and over. Holy Spirit be my guide in the Lord’s path, shine the light in the way I should go that I may never be lost. Thank you Abba. In Jesus name Amen.

Until God…

Philippians 1:6

being confident of this, that he who began a good work in you will carry it on to completion until the day of Christ Jesus.

It’s been a week full of commotion (but I want to think it was mostly full of prayer 🙏🏻❣️). Let me start by saying, I’m less than a week into a hysterectomy recovery (Ovarian Cancer survivor, 8 yrs. In remission but I don’t have to worry about that anymore), it’s been a lot, therefore I won’t have a lot to say this week, but just a quick praise report🙌🏻. While in surgery, I stopped breathing, my heart actually stopped, from what I look like (bruises and all) they brought me back pretty quickly and obviously still here (Praise God☝🏻🙏🏻) and thank you from the bottom of my heart ❤️ and may God bless 🙏🏻 you abundantly my Worshipwalk Church family and all those who literally took time aside to pray for God to see me through. So, My brother asked me if I saw the light (🤔) I did not, now I’m wondering why I didn’t (🤔 🥴). So, yeah anyway, God is good, I am still here because He wants me here, nothing can take me out without His consent, not someone else’s mistake, not my own mistakes, not someone else’s will or wish or desire, not the enemy who likes to prowl like a roaring lion. I will be here living and breathing until the day that THE LORD Himself calls me to heaven ☁️.  Today, I will just share a song that was in my thoughts, heart and lips during my stay in the hospital. Thank you all for reading this. Jesus Loves you!❣️ (Also, thank you to the Hospital Staff if you’re reading this! 😉)

Click below for song 👇🏻👇🏻👇🏻

When You Stop Running…

Jeremiah 10:12-13

“But God made the earth by his power, and he preserves it by his wisdom. With his own understanding, he stretched out the heavens. When he speaks in the thunder, the heavens roar with rain. He causes the clouds to rise over the earth. He sends the lightning with the rain and releases the wind from his storehouses.”

Luke 1:35

“The angel replied,” The Holy Spirit will come upon you, and the power of the Most High will overshadow you. So, the baby to be born will be holy, and he will be called the Son of God. “

Romans 15:13

“I pray that God, the source of hope, will fill you completely with joy and peace because you trust in him. Then you will overflow with confident hope through the power of the Holy Spirit.”

Psalms 139:7-10

Where shall I go from your Spirit? Or where shall I flee from your presence? If I ascend to heaven, you are there! If I make my bed in Sheol, you are there! If I take the wings of the morning and dwell in the uttermost parts of the sea, even there your hand shall lead me, and your right hand shall hold me.

Jonah 1:1-3

Now the word of the Lord came to Jonah the son of Amittai, saying, “Arise, go to Nineveh, that great city, and call out against it, for their evil has come up before me.” But Jonah rose to flee to Tarshish from the presence of the Lord. He went down to Joppa and found a ship going to Tarshish. So he paid the fare and went on board, to go with them to Tarshish, away from the presence of the Lord.

When you finally stop saying no, I can’t, what if, but, and maybe to God. This sentence came thru my mind right after I agreed to lead bible study next week. It brought tears of Joy to linger in this thought because of all the running away from God I did for half my life, truthfully, all it brought was more sadness, depression, confusion, anger, hatred, loneliness and unhappiness to my life. Everything I did was for the wrong reason (knowingly and unknowingly) and all I attracted was drama, chaos and while it brought that into my life it also brought so much uncertainty about everything my little brain could think of. I was so exhausted from running that it lead me to drugs and alcohol, it took me to make some very dangerous choices with the life that God had given me, and it was all roads leading to death for me. When I was too tired to even contemplate how I could just end it all, I stopped running, I dropped on my knees and I cried, I wailed, I painfully groaned, I had no words, all I did was to let my whole entire body just cry. I couldn’t tell you how many days this lasted but it was more than a couple, where all I did was pray in the darkness if my room and I fasted and prayed. What I was asking God to show me had to be supernatural and it had to be big because I couldn’t be here on this earth any longer, I asked Him to show me His glory, to make me feel like I was really set aside and made for His purpose, and He did. I begged and begged the Holy Spirit to bring down the cleansing fire on me, my change had to be radical, I had no time left in me, and He did. I was so broken in this world and I kept letting it break me, then I asked Jesus to reveal Himself and to show me His love, and I saw in my mind, Jesus sitting on His throne and His arms were opened towards a little girl who was about 7 and it was me, I ran to Him, to the safety of His loving arms and loved me, He does. I was desperate there’s was nothing but God showing up or me leaving this earth but I knew that if I wanted Him to show up I had to show Him how badly I needed Him to come into my life. I did it the radical way, the reckless, the abnormal, the outrageous, the most extreme way I could think of calling on Jesus because really dying on the cross for me was just all of those things and more, I was ready to show Him too that if I had another chance at life I’d live it in the light. Stop running from God, Stop running to toxic relationships, toxic love, toxic habits, toxic dependencies, toxic ideas, toxic thoughts, toxic emotions, toxic expectations, toxic Idols, toxic friendships, stop running to a toxic life that will only bring sorrow, resentment, anger, anxiety and hopelessness. Jesus is waiting and His arms are wide open for you. The only thing you have to lose is the darkness.

Abba, my wonderful loving Abba. My heart rejoices and skips a beat at the thought of your unconditional love and forgiveness, faithful you are yesterday today and forever. Here I am, make me the light that shines thru the depth of darkness and brings life to that which has none. Lord, make me yours and guide my life in the direction of eternity. I want to be radical, reckless, outrageous, bold in this world for your Glory. In your love to show others the same amazing grace and compassion you had for me that I may have for those who need it. Break me, search me, refine me, let my hands hold the fire of your Spirit. Those who prayed this prayer now, Lord, show them, reveal yourself to them who you are, amaze them. Let the fire fall on them right now. In Jesus name Amen.

How He Loves Us…

Romans 8:35, 37-39

Can anything ever separate us from Christ’s love? Does it mean He no longer loves us if we have trouble or calamity, or are persecuted, or hungry, or destitute, or in danger, or threatened with death? … No, despite all these things, overwhelming victory is ours through Christ, who loved us. And I am convinced that nothing can ever separate us from God’s love. Neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither our fears for today nor our worries about tomorrow — not even the powers of hell can separate us from God’s love. No power in the sky above or in the earth below — indeed, nothing in all creation will ever be able to separate us from the love of God that is revealed in Christ Jesus our Lord.

1 John 4:18

Such love has no fear, because perfect love expels all fear. If we are afraid, it is for fear of punishment, and this shows that we have not fully experienced His perfect love.

The other day I had a busy morning/afternoon, when I finally had some time to sit down, I sighed and I said in my head, “God, I’m so glad you know everything about me, I don’t have to worry about a lot when I trust you”. I was feeling physically exhausted and I really didn’t have much energy for anything but the night before I was led by the Spirit to do some errands that I was leaving for the next day. Well, wouldn’t you know, I wouldn’t have been able to because of how I was feeling but guess what? God knew, not only did He know but I was so grateful to be in sync with Him that it was so easy to just be led by Him, no questions, just pure faith in knowing that He knows the plans He has for me and that I don’t need to worry about tomorrow. If we would just be willing to hand over to God our day and truly trust that He knows best, because He does, how much more rest would you get? How much more peace would you experience? All I can say is, Oh! How He loves us!

Father, today I want to thank you for all that you do. For sending your only son to die on that cross for me and for sending the Holy Spirit to be my helper. I ask that you allow today for me to see how truly loved and favored I am by you. I know that at times I allow other people’s opinions of me to get into my thoughts and into my heart but today Father I want it to be different, I want your thoughts and promises to be what drives me and give me Joy, In Jesus name Amen.