I really don't know where to begin. I love God. I have so many reasons and I wish I could share every single one because truly it has shaped me into the person I am today. I love to write. I first started writing when I was 15, started with a journal and poetry then songs. As I got older I continued with letters and poetry. Then one day I just stopped.(fast forward) I joined a woman's group earlier this year and slowly I started to hear God's voice telling me to write. I can assure you that it was something I didn't feel like I wanted to do, I had way too many questions and doubts about if it was even possible and if I was gifted enough. Well, long story short here I am starting a blog. I love reading other people's blog's, sometimes I read things I don't agree with or have a million opinions about but I always read with an open mind and I always ask the Holy Spirit to be my guide when I read or write. For me, it has been a way to see the bigger picture of what God is trying to tell us. As you may have guessed my faith will have a big part in this blog if not all part, God wants to tell you something and I have made a choice to be led by the Spirit to bring forth this message. I am not here to convince anyone about who God is or scare you into a religion, simply, I am here to tell my story and to be used by God to share whatever it is he wants me to share with whoever reads this. I welcome everyone and I welcome questions. I will not engage in arguments about my faith or religion. I am who I am and I don't need to defend myself or prove anything to anyone. I come with love and respect. I hope that in this new journey I'm embarking on you as well find yourself stepping into something new and amazing!
If my fire is fading, throw me on the bones If my light is dim, throw me on the bones If I am parched, throw me on the bones If I am sedated, throw me on the bones If I am weak, throw me on the bones If I am burdened, throw me on the bones If I am sick, throw me on the bones If my flesh is weak, throw me on the bones If I am lost, throw me on the bones If I am dead, throw me on the bones Throw me on the bones of Elisha and fill my cup with oil, On the bones of Elisha where life takes death, On the bones of Elisha where you’re imprint stays even after bones are dry. On the bones of Elisha where no one senses you unless they touch. On the bones of Elisha, that one day my bones become the home of your powerul being, so that even when all that stays are my bones on this earth , they still manifest your Glory. Lord, throw me on the bones of Elisha, give me a double portion and let my life and then my bones honor and glorify you forever and ever.
Sometimes we get so busy that we forget to set apart some time to refresh and reenergize, not only our physical but our spiritual too. Right now in this moment, I feel very tired, I feel like I need a break, some time apart with God. Immediately Matthew 11:29 came to mind and as I read it over and over I could feel the heaviness lift. Have you ever lifted something that was heavier than you expected and someone came running to help you carry it, that immediate sense of relief, gladness and gratitude comes as that person is heading towards you maybe even with their hands out ready to help. Well, when times get heavy and your load is too much to bare, there’s one name that you can always call on and that’s Jesus, and He will run towards you with his arms extended towards you and he will carry that weight for you. So find rest in your soul as you call on Jesus. I pray that every single person who reads this now, may a covering of peace fall on you and a breeze of calm enter your being, that you may feel Jesus at your side as He ever so lovingly offers his yoke.
Heavenly Father, hear my prayer. I’m feeling tired and weary. I come to you because I know that there is no one that can lift me up the way you do. I call on you because I know that there’s nothing you wouldn’t do for me. I feel so tired, but I know that in my weakness you are strong. My chest feels heavy, but I know that you sent your only son to carry the weight for me. I know that you make me lie down in green pastures and you lead me besides the still waters. My physical body is tired but my spirit is strong in you Lord. Abba, I trust you, not in my circumstances or what I see and hear, but I trust you and the promises you give. I surrender all that I feel to you now and receive from you the peace that surpasses all understanding. I receive your forgiveness and most of all I receive your love. Thank you for creating me, in Jesus name Amen.
Have you ever received bad news? I think we all have, it seems to be one of those things that is just part of life, something’s are just inedible. As I’ve matured in the Lord I’ve learned that it’s so important to pay attention to ourselves and how we receive not so good news, in other words how we react and how it makes us feel. We’re humans with feelings I think God understands that, so it’s not bad to feel a negative feeling, it’s how long you linger in that feeling and how you get out of it. For me, when I used to hear bad news I would just sink into the floor, whether small or big it was just something I couldn’t bare, I was raised to just let emotions fly and do whatever they wanted even to the point of letting them take over my entire being.
Now, I don’t live in that fear, the fear of the unknown, of not having control, of not having the solution, I live in a place of peace, a place where when trials arise I don’t sink into the floor, instead I arise as well, and My Creator with me. It’s so important to examine ourselves and take time to reflect on those times when our faith shrinks just a little and how to be able to make it rise above it all, the only way is through His word. Read and re-read if you must all the promises He has made and remember how faithful He is, how much He loves you and He will never forsake you. Trials will come that’s for sure, we have an enemy that never tires of inflicting pain, BUT we have an amazing God who stands before us, behinds us and all around us. Praise God. So, now take time, reflect on where you live, In panic of the uncertainty or peace in God’s will.
Father God, I come to you and just surrender all that fear that makes my mind race into thoughts that are against what you have proclaimed for me. I ask for your forgiveness if there is something that I am missing because I am too busy to get into your word. Lord I ask that you guide me and give me wisdom so that I may live in your peace when trials come. Lord I trust you, I love you and I always want to be in your will. In Jesus name Amen.
It’s been such a long weekend for me, I just wanted to share a testimony, this happened Saturday and Sunday. I was flying back home from Oregon Saturday night, so many little things happened that night that getting to the airport almost seemed like slow motion, not to mention once I arrived at the airport trying to find someone to help me to trying to get them to speak words I understood, 😆 it was a mess, finally getting through security was incredible that’s when I knew that I wasn’t going home that night. Then, when I tried to get help to getting another flight, I was scolded by the manager for being late, which I wasn’t really, but the point is he kept accusing me of something that wasn’t true, I tried explaining to him once and very rudely making a scene, rolling his eyes he wouldn’t stop saying it was my fault and not the airline, to which I felt so confused about because I had not once mentioned blamed to anyone, all I wanted was to get another flight. I was too exhausted and physically in pain to deal with this person who was not being reasonable, I immediately felt like I needed a pause, so I put my stuff down, I took a breath, and I said a quick prayer, Lord, I don’t know what’s happening, I had it all worked out and I’m not sure what to do or say to this person, please help me, I just need a flight home and some peace. The man looks at me and says, I can get you on another flight but first thing tomorrow morning no charge, just be here. Finally! Yes, I said, okay I got it. He gave my ticket I called my brother he came to pick me up, when I told my brother what happened he was more upset than I, on the way back home to my brother’s place, I thanked God and I blessed that person and I thanked him specifically for whatever it was that he had saved me from that night. The next morning, I was so exhausted from the night before and now I was two hours waiting for the plane to board, but still giving thanks to God because his plans are better. The person boarding the plane let’s me go first and as he hands me my ticket to board the plane he says, “I upgraded you to first class”, I almost cried on the plane, I was so exhausted that I couldn’t even defend myself from the airport person the night before, and so exhausted from waiting that morning, and all I could do was trust God. From then on, I could have not been helped more by the nicest people on the plane and once I arrived home. It was his love and faithfulness that took care of me in those times when I couldn’t do it myself. He knows the plans that he has for me, I trust him specially in those places where you are blindsided and winded. My obedience to let God fight for my justice, instead of me trying to interfere and find my own is what activated my faith in him to be able to step into my life and take control. Let God take control of your life for a while, trust him blindly, He won’t disappoint. Let him remind you and show you, that you are a child of the Most High God and that you most certain belong in First class.
Lord higher than you is none. There is none more faithful and loving. Please forgive me for allowing others or my surroundings tell me who I am, when your word clearly states that I am yours. Help me in those times when I can’t help myself. Give .w strength and courage when I have none. Help me to see what you see in me and help me embrace the blessing you have bestowed upon me. Lord I trust you. In Jesus name Amen.
Did the title throw you off a little? Well, let me elaborate. Many years ago before I was saved, I had a sort of spiritual awakening for a lack of a better term. I knew about God but I didn’t like religion and so I called myself spiritual. Yes, spiritual, what does that even mean? Now it seems a bit silly when I think about it. I guess, what I was trying to say was that I didn’t like religion, I didn’t want to be labeled a Christian, I didn’t want to follow anyone’s specific rules or guidelines to get closer to God. More specifically, I knew what some Christian based churches taught, which was baptism, fasting, praying, reading the bible and being part of a community, most of those things I mentioned I wasn’t willing to do, nor compromise about it. I literally prayed to God and said, I won’t get baptized and I won’t be part of a community where I have to serve or talk to anyone ( immature me), of course that only seemed to pull me farther apart from my purpose. Forward to present time, I’ve been baptized twice (once in the actual Jordan river) and have found an amazing community of people in my church that have welcome me in a way that I can’t explain with words but know in my heart was God sent. In my ” spiritual awakening” I had a long list of the things I didn’t want to do to get closer to God or to have peace in my heart and life, I had to many limitations and restrictions for God, all those things were walls that I had built myself to protect myself from the what if’s in my head, what if God isn’t real, what if the people at church hurt me, or lie to me, what if I’m not worthy or what If I open up and become vulnerable and I get taken advantage in my weakness. With all those walls, all those restrictions, all those conditions, getting closer to God and finding my purpose in this world was never going to work. So, I got lost in many religions, reading books, finding temples, yoga, magic, buddhism, healing myself affirmations, books on how to help myself find peace and all sorts of other stuff that only worked temporarily and when it went away left me feeling even worse. Where am I going with this, you can read all the self help books, all the autobiographies, you can do all the yoga and breathing exercises you want, WITHOUT GOD, IT WONT WORK! By no means am I saying reading self help books are bad, what I am saying (because it happened to me) is that the only way to start truly healing is to let your walls down, ask God to show you the truth. If Jesus is the your foundation, if God isnt number one in your life, and If you still have many conditions, you will never be truly happy. This life doesn’t work without God. Think about it, is there an area of your life where you just can’t seem to have peace in? Is there a wall? A condition you’re putting God? I know you want peace, I know you want to feel loved, appreciated, valued, noticed, I know you want to succeed, be fruitful, be blessed to be a blessing, I know you want to find your purpose, but I’m afraid it just won’t work without God. In my personal journey to findings who in was, I found that I can never walk this life again without my creator. I encourage you to let those walls fall and to just let God guide you into His will, let us pray.
My most amazing creator, my loving Father in heaven, I come to you, scared of the unknown, afraid of what you might reveal to me, afraid of getting hurt, afraid that I am not worthy, afraid that I don’t have enough faith, overwhelmed by this place I’m in because no matter how much I try to control or manipulate those things around me it just doesn’t bring peace. I am lost, I am drowning in a sea of hopelessness and I know that I am stubborn and I ask for forgiveness, I can’t do this alone anymore, I know that anything in my life will not work if you’re not involved. So, I’m inviting you into my life, into my heart, that you may search me and find within me not only that unwillingness to give my life completely to you but anything else that is keeping me from fulfilling my true purpose in your will and cast it out so that I may be delivered into your wonderful freedom and love. I am yours, and I know that without you, it just won’t work. In Jesus name Amen.
Today I wanted to share with you something that is very intimate for me, something that I treasure in my heart and is forever engraved in my thoughts. When I was sick (cancer) and doctors didn’t know what was wrong and I knew something was very wrong, I felt death upon me as days, weeks and months passed and still no answer to my health deteriorating. It was a year exactly when I finally ended up one more time in the E.R and I was told that I had a tumor (no cancer, yet) I was immediately given a date for surgery which was just days away, I remember them saying that they couldn’t do a biopsy because if it was cancer then they would risk transferring it into other parts of my body. A month later, I was asked to meet with a specialist at the hospital which I did, I sat in the room waiting alone, as she walked in and sat in her chair, she turns and says to me that I have to undergo aggressive chemotherapy treatment, the tumor had been in my body way too long and developed cancer cells, the tumor had grown 11.8 inches and it touched and pushed my organs which caused me a lot of discomfort. I remember going back in my head and thinking of the day I knew there was something wrong but I didn’t know what, I remember asking God to reveal to me the illness, I asked Him to guide me to the right doctors, I asked Him to fill me with His courage and to help my family when I shared the news. That whole entire time, from the day I knew something was wrong to finding out what it was and what needed to be done, not once was I alone. God had sent someone who held my hand through the pain, through the confusion of not knowing what was wrong, through feeling of death at my door, through having to call two of my family members and say my will. He sent someone who even though at times I could not even speak a word from being overwhelmed with the news, just sat there in the quiet times with me. Someone who held my hand during the treatments, who was always front and center when I opened my eyes after having taking an ivy of Benadryl to help with the side effects of chemotherapy. He made sure I got to my treatments on time because if I didn’t I would have to start all over (and boy, was there obstacles getting me there). Someone who reassured me every step of the way that no matter what He would never leave my side. Someone who held me as my hair fell off my head in big chunks, someone who never judged me as a raged from the treatment messing with my thoughts and emotions. Someone who still saw the beauty inside when I felt tired, worn, distorted and ugly. He would talk until I fell asleep and He reminded me of who I was to God. That someone is MY Jesus. This testimony is the short version, so many unbelievable things and incredible things happened in that journey but the point of this short story is, My Jesus came through. I called on Him everyday, and everyday He showed up. Are you in a place where you need to call Your Jesus? I promise He will show up. No matter how big or small your situation, (mine just happened to be big at that time) He will show up when you call on Him with all your heart. Let us pray,
My Jesus, please forgive me if I’ve been trying to do life all in my own. I need you to meet me where I am, Jesus the name above every other name. Jesus, King of Kings, Jesus, my savior, my comforter, my provider, my healer, my Lord. I call on you because I am weak right now, because I don’t have the answers, because I don’t have the solutions, because I am not strong, but You are. Here I am. I can’t do this on my own, I am tired, I don’t know where to go. Jesus, I know you hear me, I lift my hands to you and receive your rest and your peace. I receive your love, and your guidance. I need you in my life right now, I surrender my heart, mind and soul to you, let me shine for you, let me praise your name now because you have already triumphed, you already have the victory. Thank you, I love you. In your name I pray, Amen.
I believe the verse Matthew 26:26-29 is an example of how Jesus was trying to show them how to be united and even though a couple verses before this one Jesus mentions that someone will betray Him, yet, He still goes forward and has supper with them as they all come together as one by eating the bread and drinking the wine. To me, it just shows that Jesus was telling us in the midst of uncertainty and in a time where there was fear of what the future was to bring, we are to come United breaking bread as we face our trials together, praying and taking part of communion. The word communion is defined as sharing with each other intimate thoughts with one another meaning that we are to come to one another in our most very distressful and times of need to pray for one another and encourage one another, but we must take the step to reach out and even in that feeling of shame or shyness or whatever holds you back, we must overcome to have a true chance of being obedient to God. Is there anything that is holding you back from having this communion? Surrender it to Jesus right now.
Lord, King of Kings! I come to you right now feeling inadequate, feeling shame, guilt, feeling embarrassed and shy, and I surrender all these feelings to you so, that I may be able to move forward into communion not only with you but with my brothers and sisters in Christ, that may be able to boldly stand and ask for prayer when I need it, boldly declare your promises that you’ve given me and rest in your peace that surpasses all understanding. I surrender so that I can be lifted higher and closer to you. In your name I pray Amen.
I promise it won’t be long, trees will burn, houses will come down, but not in vain, no never in vain. There’s refinement in your pain. There’s deliverance in your tears. There’s wisdom in your fears. There’s salvation in your mourning. The waves will over take but not in vain. People will die, foundations will crumble to longer exist but not in vain, no never in vain. There’s edification I’m your loss. There’s freedom in your bewilderment. There’s correction in your worry. The ground will break and swallow up all that stands on it but not in vain, no never in vain. In those days, you will cry out and I will hear your voice and you will know mine. Then there, you will find peace, you will find love, you will find wisdom, you will find courage, you will find joy, you will find your salvation.
Father, I just want to say thank you. Thank you for your message. Thank you for your love. Thank you because even when make the wrong choices you never reject me. Thank you because even in my pain you are stilly comfort. Thank you for holding me in the palm of your hand and keeping me safe. Thank you for reminding me that I am not alone. Thank you for your wisdom. Thank you for your protection. Thank you for being my wonderful, perfect, father. I lift my heart to you and all that is feeling right now, I know you are in control, I know you have plans for me, I know that you will always uphold me with your right hand. Don’t let go of me, I won’t let go of you. I love you. In Jesus name Amen.
The rage. Do you know it? I do. I don’t engage anymore with it, but how I used to linger and sulk in it. I remember as a teenager once my little brother said to me while I was having a fit and rage against my mom, that I reminded him of the hulk. I remember so clearly thinking, wow, that’s how much rage comes out of me. To tell you the truth that continued for many, many years, anything would set me off. I had no control, there was no balance of my emotions specially when it came to anger. Yes, of course I was a teenager and the raging hormones and all that but what about later in life? As a Adult I had to finally be honest with myself and find a solution, I tried mediation, reading books about peace, buddhism, angels, crystals, anything that had the word peace I was trying. Needless to say, all those things seemed to work for a while and then vanish like if they never existed in my life, back then I wasn’t saved and I didn’t know better, it wasn’t until I bended knee and called out for the creator of all things when He started showing me through His word and getting to know who Jesus was that I started to think that I might have a chance. There are three things you must know: 1. The only one who can help is God. 2. Surrendering will activate your faith. 3. Alignment with God’s will bring peace.
How do you start: 1. Make time for God, praying, meditating, worshipping. 2. Read the bible. His word. If you need an answer seek it in His word. 3. Repent and Give thanks to God in the worst and best times.
Lord, I boldly come to you now with a humble heart, please forgive me for anything that I have done to keep you from doing your will in my life. I am here now with an open heart and a willing Spirit. Lord create an emotional balance within me and let me flow in your serenity. When my anger starts to rise Lord I ask you to cover me in your compassion, Father I lift up every emotion to you, be my guide so that I may know how to react to others actions. I want to be slow to anger. Let everything I do and say be a reflection of what you are. In Jesus name Amen.