God sent someone…

Today I wanted to share with you something that is very intimate for me, something that I treasure in my heart and is forever engraved in my thoughts.
When I was sick (cancer) and doctors didn’t know what was wrong and I knew something was very wrong, I felt death upon me as days, weeks and months passed and still no answer to my health deteriorating. It was a year exactly when I finally ended up one more time in the E.R and I was told that I had a tumor (no cancer, yet) I was immediately given a date for surgery which was just days away, I remember them saying that they couldn’t do a biopsy because if it was cancer then they would risk transferring it into other parts of my body. A month later, I was asked to meet with a specialist at the hospital which I did, I sat in the room waiting alone, as she walked in and sat in her chair, she turns and says to me that I have to undergo aggressive chemotherapy treatment, the tumor had been in my body way too long and developed cancer cells, the tumor had grown 11.8 inches and it touched and pushed my organs which caused me a lot of discomfort. I remember going back in my head and thinking of the day I knew there was something wrong but I didn’t know what, I remember asking God to reveal to me the illness, I asked Him to guide me to the right doctors, I asked Him to fill me with His courage and to help my family when I shared the news. That whole entire time, from the day I knew something was wrong to finding out what it was and what needed to be done, not once was I alone. God had sent someone who held my hand through the pain, through the confusion of not knowing what was wrong, through feeling of death at my door, through having to call two of my family members and say my will. He sent someone who even though at times I could not even speak a word from being overwhelmed with the news, just sat there in the quiet times with me. Someone who held my hand during the treatments, who was always front and center when I opened my eyes after having taking an ivy of Benadryl to help with the side effects of chemotherapy. He made sure I got to my treatments on time because if I didn’t I would have to start all over (and boy, was there obstacles getting me there). Someone who reassured me every step of the way that no matter what He would never leave my side. Someone who held me as my hair fell off my head in big chunks, someone who never judged me as a raged from the treatment messing with my thoughts and emotions. Someone who still saw the beauty inside when I felt tired, worn, distorted and ugly. He would talk until I fell asleep and He reminded me of who I was to God. That someone is MY Jesus.
This testimony is the short version, so many unbelievable things and incredible things happened in that journey but the point of this short story is, My Jesus came through. I called on Him everyday, and everyday He showed up. Are you in a place where you need to call Your Jesus? I promise He will show up. No matter how big or small your situation, (mine just happened to be big at that time) He will show up when you call on Him with all your heart. Let us pray,

My Jesus, please forgive me if I’ve been trying to do life all in my own. I need you to meet me where I am, Jesus the name above every other name. Jesus, King of Kings, Jesus, my savior, my comforter, my provider, my healer, my Lord. I call on you because I am weak right now, because I don’t have the answers, because I don’t have the solutions, because I am not strong, but You are. Here I am. I can’t do this on my own, I am tired, I don’t know where to go. Jesus, I know you hear me, I lift my hands to you and receive your rest and your peace. I receive your love, and your guidance. I need you in my life right now, I surrender my heart, mind and soul to you, let me shine for you, let me praise your name now because you have already triumphed, you already have the victory. Thank you, I love you. In your name I pray, Amen.

#flowinhisgrace

Communion…


I believe the verse Matthew 26:26-29 is an example of how Jesus was trying to show them how to be united and even though a couple verses before this one Jesus mentions that someone will betray Him, yet, He still goes forward and has supper with them as they all come together as one by eating the bread and drinking the wine. To me, it just shows that Jesus was telling us in the midst of uncertainty and in a time where there was fear of what the future was to bring, we are to come United breaking bread as we face our trials together, praying and taking part of communion. The word communion is defined as sharing with each other intimate thoughts with one another meaning that we are to come to one another in our most very distressful and times of need to pray for one another and encourage one another, but we must take the step to reach out and even in that feeling of shame or shyness or whatever holds you back, we must overcome to have a true chance of being obedient to God. Is there anything that is holding you back from having this communion? Surrender it to Jesus right now.

Lord, King of Kings! I come to you right now feeling inadequate, feeling shame, guilt, feeling embarrassed and shy, and I surrender all these feelings to you so, that I may be able to move forward into communion not only with you but with my brothers and sisters in Christ, that may be able to boldly stand and ask for prayer when I need it, boldly declare your promises that you’ve given me and rest in your peace that surpasses all understanding. I surrender so that I can be lifted higher and closer to you. In your name I pray Amen.

#flowinhisgrace

Never In Vain…

I promise it won’t be long, trees will burn, houses will come down, but not in vain, no never in vain. There’s refinement in your pain. There’s deliverance in your tears. There’s wisdom in your fears. There’s salvation in your mourning. The waves will over take but not in vain. People will die, foundations will crumble to longer exist but not in vain, no never in vain. There’s edification I’m your loss. There’s freedom in your bewilderment. There’s correction in your worry. The ground will break and swallow up all that stands on it but not in vain, no never in vain. In those days, you will cry out and I will hear your voice and you will know mine. Then there, you will find peace, you will find love, you will find wisdom, you will find courage, you will find joy, you will find your salvation.

Father, I just want to say thank you. Thank you for your message. Thank you for your love. Thank you because even when make the wrong choices you never reject me. Thank you because even in my pain you are stilly comfort. Thank you for holding me in the palm of your hand and keeping me safe. Thank you for reminding me that I am not alone. Thank you for your wisdom. Thank you for your protection. Thank you for being my wonderful, perfect, father. I lift my heart to you and all that is feeling right now, I know you are in control, I know you have plans for me, I know that you will always uphold me with your right hand. Don’t let go of me, I won’t let go of you. I love you. In Jesus name Amen.

Emotions…

The rage. Do you know it? I do. I don’t engage anymore with it, but how I used to linger and sulk in it. I remember as a teenager once my little brother said to me while I was having a fit and rage against my mom, that I reminded him of the hulk. I remember so clearly thinking, wow, that’s how much rage comes out of me. To tell you the truth that continued for many, many years, anything would set me off. I had no control, there was no balance of my emotions specially when it came to anger. Yes, of course I was a teenager and the raging hormones and all that but what about later in life? As a Adult I had to finally be honest with myself and find a solution, I tried mediation, reading books about peace, buddhism, angels, crystals, anything that had the word peace I was trying. Needless to say, all those things seemed to work for a while and then vanish like if they never existed in my life, back then I wasn’t saved and I didn’t know better, it wasn’t until I bended knee and called out for the creator of all things when He started showing me through His word and getting to know who Jesus was that I started to think that I might have a chance. There are three things you must know:
1. The only one who can help is God.
2. Surrendering will activate your faith.
3. Alignment with God’s will bring peace.

How do you start:
1. Make time for God, praying, meditating, worshipping.
2. Read the bible. His word. If you need an answer seek it in His word.
3. Repent and Give thanks to God in the worst and best times.

Lord, I boldly come to you now with a humble heart, please forgive me for anything that I have done to keep you from doing your will in my life. I am here now with an open heart and a willing Spirit. Lord create an emotional balance within me and let me flow in your serenity. When my anger starts to rise Lord I ask you to cover me in your compassion, Father I lift up every emotion to you, be my guide so that I may know how to react to others actions. I want to be slow to anger. Let everything I do and say be a reflection of what you are. In Jesus name Amen.

A Reminder…

We all need Holy reminders, for me it was one of those weeks where the Holy Spirit just continued to remind me of who I am in Christ. Sometimes were expecting a new verse or a new word from God but what we really need is a simple reminder of the things we already know but have forgotten in the midst of uncertainty. My reminder came in the form of a piece I had written before. To me a reminder but maybe for you a new word.

My most precious daughter, I see you and I am well pleased. You are the apple of my eye. My most valuable creation indeed. I have hidden treasures inside your being that will be brought to life in my presence. How I delight in the worship of your heart and the way you lift me with your praises. I have an invitation for you on this day that you may leave behind that which brings grief into the heart that I have given you. That you may step forth with me into the calling I prepared for you that others may follow your lead and be able to know me as well and that you may be transformed into royalty as I have meant for you to be my delegate in all things Holy. Let me dry those sorrowful tears that often fall into the palms of my hands and let me turn them into tears of joy and victory. Won’t you come near and hold my hand that I may never let you go and forever live in my grace. All that causes you pain is not in vain and know that it will always come and go but today if you hold me near you will never be alone. 

Now, go and testify.

John 1:12

But to all who did receive him, who believed in his name, he gave the right to become children of God.

Revelation 21:4

He will wipe away every tear from their eyes, and death shall be no more, neither shall there be mourning, nor crying, nor pain anymore, for the former things have passed away.

Esther 4:14

Perhaps this is the moment for which you were created.

Jeremiah 29:11

For I know the plans that I have for you declares the Lord, plans to prosper you and not to harm you. Plans to give you hope and a future.

Proverbs 3:5-6

Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways submit to him, and he will make your paths straight.

1 Peter 2:9

But you are a chosen people, a royal priesthood, a holy nation, God’s special possession, that you may declare the praises of him who called you out of darkness into his wonderful light.

1 Peter 3:15

But in your hearts revere to Christ as Lord. Always be prepared to give an answer to everyone who asks you to give reason for the hope that you have. But do this with gentleness and respect.