When You Stop Running…

Jeremiah 10:12-13

“But God made the earth by his power, and he preserves it by his wisdom. With his own understanding, he stretched out the heavens. When he speaks in the thunder, the heavens roar with rain. He causes the clouds to rise over the earth. He sends the lightning with the rain and releases the wind from his storehouses.”

Luke 1:35

“The angel replied,” The Holy Spirit will come upon you, and the power of the Most High will overshadow you. So, the baby to be born will be holy, and he will be called the Son of God. “

Romans 15:13

“I pray that God, the source of hope, will fill you completely with joy and peace because you trust in him. Then you will overflow with confident hope through the power of the Holy Spirit.”

Psalms 139:7-10

Where shall I go from your Spirit? Or where shall I flee from your presence? If I ascend to heaven, you are there! If I make my bed in Sheol, you are there! If I take the wings of the morning and dwell in the uttermost parts of the sea, even there your hand shall lead me, and your right hand shall hold me.

Jonah 1:1-3

Now the word of the Lord came to Jonah the son of Amittai, saying, “Arise, go to Nineveh, that great city, and call out against it, for their evil has come up before me.” But Jonah rose to flee to Tarshish from the presence of the Lord. He went down to Joppa and found a ship going to Tarshish. So he paid the fare and went on board, to go with them to Tarshish, away from the presence of the Lord.

When you finally stop saying no, I can’t, what if, but, and maybe to God. This sentence came thru my mind right after I agreed to lead bible study next week. It brought tears of Joy to linger in this thought because of all the running away from God I did for half my life, truthfully, all it brought was more sadness, depression, confusion, anger, hatred, loneliness and unhappiness to my life. Everything I did was for the wrong reason (knowingly and unknowingly) and all I attracted was drama, chaos and while it brought that into my life it also brought so much uncertainty about everything my little brain could think of. I was so exhausted from running that it lead me to drugs and alcohol, it took me to make some very dangerous choices with the life that God had given me, and it was all roads leading to death for me. When I was too tired to even contemplate how I could just end it all, I stopped running, I dropped on my knees and I cried, I wailed, I painfully groaned, I had no words, all I did was to let my whole entire body just cry. I couldn’t tell you how many days this lasted but it was more than a couple, where all I did was pray in the darkness if my room and I fasted and prayed. What I was asking God to show me had to be supernatural and it had to be big because I couldn’t be here on this earth any longer, I asked Him to show me His glory, to make me feel like I was really set aside and made for His purpose, and He did. I begged and begged the Holy Spirit to bring down the cleansing fire on me, my change had to be radical, I had no time left in me, and He did. I was so broken in this world and I kept letting it break me, then I asked Jesus to reveal Himself and to show me His love, and I saw in my mind, Jesus sitting on His throne and His arms were opened towards a little girl who was about 7 and it was me, I ran to Him, to the safety of His loving arms and loved me, He does. I was desperate there’s was nothing but God showing up or me leaving this earth but I knew that if I wanted Him to show up I had to show Him how badly I needed Him to come into my life. I did it the radical way, the reckless, the abnormal, the outrageous, the most extreme way I could think of calling on Jesus because really dying on the cross for me was just all of those things and more, I was ready to show Him too that if I had another chance at life I’d live it in the light. Stop running from God, Stop running to toxic relationships, toxic love, toxic habits, toxic dependencies, toxic ideas, toxic thoughts, toxic emotions, toxic expectations, toxic Idols, toxic friendships, stop running to a toxic life that will only bring sorrow, resentment, anger, anxiety and hopelessness. Jesus is waiting and His arms are wide open for you. The only thing you have to lose is the darkness.

Abba, my wonderful loving Abba. My heart rejoices and skips a beat at the thought of your unconditional love and forgiveness, faithful you are yesterday today and forever. Here I am, make me the light that shines thru the depth of darkness and brings life to that which has none. Lord, make me yours and guide my life in the direction of eternity. I want to be radical, reckless, outrageous, bold in this world for your Glory. In your love to show others the same amazing grace and compassion you had for me that I may have for those who need it. Break me, search me, refine me, let my hands hold the fire of your Spirit. Those who prayed this prayer now, Lord, show them, reveal yourself to them who you are, amaze them. Let the fire fall on them right now. In Jesus name Amen.

2 thoughts on “When You Stop Running…

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